


I Wanna Hold You Close, I Wanna Push You Away

by Fluffy_Stuff



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Boys Kissing, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Harry has bad timing that's also somehow perfect, Harry makes breakfast, Jealous Louis, Kind of Domestic, Louis has flashbacks, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sick Harry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-09 01:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12877524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffy_Stuff/pseuds/Fluffy_Stuff
Summary: Louis finds himself spending Friday night alone after his best friend Harry cancels their plans to go on a blind date. Just when Louis is having a miserable time eating his feelings and watching Harry's favorite movie, an unexpected guest shows up at his door.or Louis is in love with his best friend and when said friend shows up sick at his door, Louis finds out his feelings might not be as unrequited as he'd assumed.





	1. Better Than Nothing

It was late on Friday night and Louis found himself all alone, watching The Notebook and gorging himself on ice cream. He was also yelling at Allie and Noah for being too stubborn to see what was right in front of their fucking faces. He threw his arms up in frustration. “What are you doing driving away? You’re wasting your life!” This movie had always frustrated him, but it’s one of Harry’s favorites. Harry—his best friend for the past decade, the biggest crush of his life…and the guy who had ditched him tonight to go meet a stranger.

~

Just that morning, Louis had gotten a text from Harry canceling their plans for tonight. Louis had called him a split second later. “What the actual fuck, Harry? We’ve been planning to go to that club for a fucking month. And now you’re bailing on me?”

“Good morning to you, too, Lou,” Harry mumbled. “I’m sorry, but I had to make some other plans. Otherwise, I would totally be there.”

“And what could be more important than spending time with your best friend, Harold? Especially since that best friend is me.” Louis kept his tone mocking to conceal the rejection threatening to spill into his words. He knew Harry’s world didn’t revolve around him, but sometimes the reminder stung.

“I had something come up, Lou. I’m sorry.” 

Louis heard Harry sigh and knew that he was feeling just as upset. Whatever Harry’s reason for canceling on him, he clearly wasn’t happy to do it. “Listen, we can—we’ll just go next week….or something.”

Harry was quiet for a minute, and Louis had started to wonder if the call had dropped when Harry finally spoke again. “I’m going on a date, Lou.”

“You’re what?” Louis was sure he’d heard him wrong. Harry almost never dated. 

“I’m going to dinner with a girl. One of my coworkers set me up,” Harry explained in a disinterested kind of way. “She’s a sweet, old lady and her niece is visiting for the weekend. She said I had to meet her and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I have to go, Lou.” 

If it had been anyone else, Louis would have thrown a fit, old ladies aside. But this was Harry, the boy who’d been his since before they were even teenagers. They’d spent all of their time together since the day they met, been there for each other through the good times and the bad. Harry was the only person who really knew him, and the damn boy still liked Louis anyway. He knew Harry wouldn’t leave him hanging unless he’d had no other choice. “It’s okay, Haz,” he relented. “Just do what you have to do.” Even if he should have been taking Louis on a date instead of some random girl.

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry said, his relief evident . “I’d rather be hanging out with you, though.”

“Of course you would, Haz. Whoever this girl is, she will never ~~love you like I do~~ be as much fun as me.”

“No, not in a million, Lou,” Harry chuckled.

They hung up and Louis let his head drop to the table in front of him, weighed down by his jealousy. That old lady better hope Louis never meets her.

~

Louis was just shoveling the last bite of ice cream into his mouth when he heard a series of frantic knocks on his door. His head snapped toward the noise and he eyed the door suspiciously. He wasn’t expecting company and nobody in the city except Harry knew his address. That reminded him—he had some wallowing to do. Louis was just about to turn the TV up when he heard a familiar voice yelling through the door. “Lou, open up!” It was Harry. 

Louis launched himself across the room so fast that he sent the empty ice cream carton flying. The spoon landed with a loud clatter on the floor, splattering melted ice cream everywhere, but Louis couldn’t care less. Harry was here, and that was all that mattered. Maybe Harry had come to confess his undying love for Louis. Louis couldn’t let a bit of melted ice cream ruin that moment.

When he swung the door open, Harry came with it, stumbling forward clumsily. Louis caught the taller boy in his arms, too confused to savor the feel. Harry’s skin was pale and he looked ill. “Harry, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Louis touched his hand to Harry’s forehead and it felt clammy.

Harry shook his head. His eyes kept fluttering closed, as if it was too much effort to keep them open. “’m sick, Lou. I—” he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “I threw up at the restaurant. Tried to drive home, but…wasn’t sure I could make it. Didn’t want to be alone like this anyway.” 

Louis nodded. Even sick Harry was better than no Harry at all. Louis was more than happy to dote on his boy. “Do you want to lie down on the couch? Do you think you’re going to be sick again?” He brushed Harry’s hair back from his forehead a little too lovingly. Hopefully, Harry was too sick to notice.

“Maybe. Could you help me to the bathroom?” Harry mumbled. “Just in case.” 

“Sure, love.” Louis hauled Harry into a more upright position and then led him down the hallway to his en suite bathroom. It was bigger and easier for Harry to lay down in, if it came to that. He brought Harry right to the toilet and knelt down on the floor next to him. “What the hell did you eat? Or was she just that unappealing?” Louis asked with a smirk.

Harry slapped his arm, shooting him a glare. “She wasn’t ugly or anything, just…not my type. Then I ordered some sort of fish I’ve never heard of.”

“Looks like there was a good reason for that,” Louis remarked. 

Harry’s eyes flicked toward him. “Not funny.” Harry was leaning on the toilet now, looking like he was about to be sick again. “It didn’t taste right, but I didn’t want to be rude and send it back, so I ate it.”

“Good choice, H. How did that politeness work out for you?”

“Shut up,” Harry told him. “Go get me some water or something.” He waved Louis off with a flick of his hand.

Louis wasn’t one to take orders from anybody, but for Harry, there were no limits. Plus, he knew Harry was just trying to spare him from having to watch him empty his stomach. Louis loved him so much, he wouldn't have cared.

When he returned with a bottle of water, Harry was sitting back on his heels, looking a bit more relaxed. “There you go,” Louis said as he uncapped the bottle and handed it to Harry. He leaned back against the counter, trying to stop himself from being overbearing. Harry took a small sip of water, letting it settle his stomach. After a couple of minutes of hovering, Louis broke his silence. “Feeling better?” 

Harry took another sip of water and then nodded. “Yeah, a little. I can probably lie down.” He looked around for something to help him get up. Louis reached out his hand. Harry took it with a small smile. “Thanks, Lou.”

“Anytime.” Anything, anywhere.

Louis helped Harry across the threshold into his bedroom. “Do you want to lie down in here or…” he trailed off. The thought of Harry's long legs stretched out on his bed and his curly hair spread over Louis' pillow was enough to make him faint.

If Louis didn’t know better, he would have sworn he saw a faint blush coloring Harry’s pallid cheeks. “Um, here’s good.” Harry walked limply toward Louis’ bed, Louis’ hand at his elbow to catch him if he needed it. “You don’t mind that I’m stealing your bed, do you?”

 _Why would I when you’ve already stolen my heart?_ The thought passed through Louis’ brain so easily that it almost made its way to his lips. He would have to work on getting that under control. He couldn’t afford to slip up. Louis just shook his head at Harry in answer to his question. “As long as you’re comfortable, I don’t care," Louis said honestly. "But don't fucking puke in my bed,” he added.

Harry smiled weakly. “Good.” 

As Louis watched Harry lie back on his bed, he had to make a conscious effort not to help him or tuck him in. “How many times did you get sick?” he asked to distract himself.

“Once at the restaurant, and um…once at the side of the road when I was trying to drive home,” he admitted sheepishly. “And your place was just around the block, so….” he trailed off. He sighed and shifted so that he could settle into the mattress. 

Louis smiled down at Harry, wishing the other man was in his bed under better circumstances. He thought of what it would be like to undress Harry slowly and lay him down on soft silky sheets, to tangle their bodies together and take his time loving his curly boy the way he deserved to be loved. Louis sighed, knowing the chance that that would ever happen was one in a million. Nonetheless, he was more than glad to have Harry there with him in any capacity. “Try to sleep if you can. I have a bit of a mess to go clean up,” he said, remembering the evidence of his lonely night in strewn on the floor.

Harry nodded at him. Louis quickly strode from the room, praying for relief from the torture of being in love with his best friend.


	2. So Close, Yet So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Harry sick in his bed, Louis tries to distract himself to avoid deciding where he'll sleep. When he goes to get a change of clothes, he expects to find Harry tucked in and sleeping soundly...except he isn't. Confusion ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie—I rewrote this several times. My muse kind of abandoned me after a certain point and I've been struggling to get it right, so here's the part that's actually settled. I have like 4,000 more words written that I am still rewriting over and over pathetically. Someone stop me? 
> 
> Anyway, there's now a flashback that was not in the original. It just sort of came to me one day, so I started typing the whole scene on my phone while I was out. I knew immediately that I had to make it fit into the story, so hope you love it as much as I do! Also, the main event of this chapter didn't originally end the way it does now. I'll explain in the end notes. For now, read away!

Louis wiped up the ice cream like it was suddenly the most important task of his day. He’d already sprayed down the floor with cleaning products four times and was just about to clean it again when he stopped himself. He was avoiding going to bed, because going to bed meant having to make the toughest decision of the night: where he was going to sleep. He could take a chance on the couch, but he knew from many drunken outings ago how uncomfortable it was. Recalling the pain in his neck and back that he’d woken up with the next morning made his whole body twinge in protest.

Louis’ only alternative was to share his bed with Harry. And that would be uncomfortable in an entirely different way. 

Louis found himself daydreaming, wondering if Harry would notice him slide under the covers next to him. He wondered if he could stop himself from leaning in and burying his face in Harry’s warmth, wrapping his arms around him as he’d longed to do for so many years. Would Harry mind? 

What if he did? 

With that sobering thought, Louis’ dream dissipated, leaving him with only his anxiety. He felt so helpless when it came to Harry. He couldn’t stop his feelings for his best friend, though he’d tried desperately. Unfortunately, his love for Harry seemed only able to grow. He dreaded the day when Harry would fall in love with someone else, because Louis knew his heart would shatter—maybe permanently. How was it possible for someone to hold your entire world in their hands without ever knowing it?

Louis had no idea how long he’d been on the floor, embroiled in a battle against his feelings for Harry, but he needed to stop himself before he ended up sleeping on the cold wood floor. He glanced at the clock. It was half past two in the morning; he really needed to get to bed. At the very least, he needed to grab some pajamas and brush his teeth. Then he could figure out the rest. Louis rose from the floor and headed toward his bedroom, quietly picking his way down the hall. 

When Louis reached the doorway to the bedroom, his breath caught in his chest. He had assumed he’d find Harry asleep in his bed, breathing softly like the angel he was. Instead, Harry was perched on the far side of the bed with his back to Louis, moonlight from the window illuminating his curls like a halo. Louis loved those curls more than anything in the world—except for the person they belonged to, of course.

Louis hung back in the shadows, torn between rushing in to see if Harry needed him and giving Harry some space. Louis was just about to give in and make a move toward the bed when he heard Harry murmuring something. Louis knew Harry hadn’t heard him, so he wasn’t sure who he could possibly be speaking to. Was he delirious from his illness? Louis waited a beat and strained his ears to pick up bits of what Harry was saying. “…before I go crazy.” Harry sighed. “I thought after...he might feel the same...”

Louis’ interest was piqued. He quietly took a step into the room to hear better. He saw now that Harry had his phone pressed to his ear. He wondered who Harry was talking to and wracked his brain to identify the “he” who was the source of Harry’s frustration. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on Harry, but Louis had a gut feeling telling him to linger just a bit more.

“…think I should...how I feel?” So Harry was lovesick? Louis felt a pang of misery. He couldn’t bear the thought that Harry was pining over someone else. The fact that it seemed to be a guy wasn't so much a surprise as a slap in the face. Louis fought the urge to crumble to the floor in a puddle of tears. He had to remember that he was Harry's best friend first and foremost. His bottom line was that he wanted Harry to be happy. No price was too high to pay and no mountain was too high to climb for the young man he’d loved so long—even if it meant sacrificing himself. 

Louis tuned back in to the conversation, hoping for more clues. "…scared…risk our friendship.” Then Louis heard the words that broke his heart. “I can’t lose him.” Harry’s voice cracked at the admission, like he was holding back tears. Louis wanted to go bounding across the room and wrap Harry up in his arms, but fear glued his feet to the floor. He didn’t know what he would say to comfort him, didn’t know who Harry was upset over or how to make it right. Plus, he was nursing his own wounds from Harry's words and couldn't let the other man see. And so he stayed where he was, his heart aching for the curly-haired angel across the room.

Harry’s voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper that was somehow easier to hear. “But if I say something and I’m wrong…I don’t know what I’d do without him every day. He’s…everything.” Louis stiffened. There was no one Harry talked to every day except him. Unless...he was seeing someone that he hadn't told Louis about. He'd been so reluctant to tell Louis about his date that night. Maybe he knew Louis' feelings and didn't want to hurt him by saying he wanted someone else. Then it hit him. Maybe Harry _was_ going to tell Louis, but when Louis got upset, he made up the story about a blind date instead.

But if that were true, why had Harry turned up at Louis' door when he could have just had his date nursing him back to health? 

Louis’ head hurt and his heart couldn't take much more. He wished he could go back to the moment before he decided to go to bed and clean the floor again instead. He wished he had slammed the door in Harry’s face for ruining the night out they were supposed to have. If he had, he wouldn’t be going to sleep on his couch with a knot in his stomach. 

Louis was turning to leave the room when he heard Harry’s voice a bit clearer. “I hope you’re right and I’m overreacting. Kind of an ironic situation right now, isn't it?" Harry gave a bitter laugh. "Don't take this the wrong way, mum, but if I weren't sick, no way in hell would I be on the phone with you right now.” He laughed a little more brightly this time. 

Louis paused mid-step. So Harry was talking to his mom about a guy he wanted and then saying it was ironic being sick in Louis' bed. Louis' brain couldn't make the connection. Did Harry..? He couldn’t. It wasn’t possible. 

Harry gave a little laugh that tugged at Louis’ heartstrings. “I’ll be good, mum. I have Lou to take care of me,” he said fondly. Louis’ heart surged with pride for a moment. Harry was as sure of Louis as ever, even if he couldn't return Louis' romantic feelings. But what Louis had just overheard gave him equal amounts of hope and despair over the matter. 

“...not sure where he is.” Harry sighed. “I hope he’s not sleeping on the couch.” Another pause. “I’m going to look for him.” Louis eyes widened. He had to get out of the room before Harry caught him eavesdropping. He turned and fled from the room as quickly and quietly as he could. He headed straight for the couch to lie down, pulling a throw over himself to form a makeshift bed. 

A few moments later, Harry materialized near the arm of the couch, where Louis’ head was resting as he feigned sleep. Louis’ eyes fluttered as he pretended to wake up. “Lou,” Harry said softly. Louis loved the way Harry said his name, so affectionately and carefully, like it was something precious. For just a moment, Louis let himself believe that he might be the guy Harry was talking about. Maybe Louis was just that damn oblivious and had been so focused on not letting Harry see his feelings that he’d missed the signs Harry had been giving him.

The truth was that Louis had always noticed the subtle ways that Harry showed him affection and maybe something more than a normal friendship. But it was so hard to determine what was only the kind of affection between close friends and what was indicative of more because Harry was the only close friend he’d ever had. Now Louis couldn’t help all the memories that flashed through his mind. All of the tentative moments they had shared that Louis had written off as him imagining things, reading too much into Harry’s words and actions, projecting his feelings onto Harry.

As the memories swirled around in his head, Louis grasped at one that stood out and held on tightly as it pulled him in.

~~

“Not so hard, Haz,” Louis said, wincing as they both jerked back against the seat. 

“Sorry, Louis! Sorry! I just—”

“It’s fine, Harry. You’re still learning. You learn by making mistakes.” Louis did his best to reassure him.

“I just want to figure it out already. I never guessed it would feel so awkward,” Harry complained. 

Louis was teaching Harry to drive, since he was a bit older and already had his license. Harry’s mother had been delighted when Louis made the offer. She hadn’t been looking forward to the ordeal, but Louis, as always, was stoked just to spend time with Harry.

Louis reached out and rested his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “You’ll get there. It just takes time.” He shot Harry a sympathetic glance. Harry smiled back. “I have an idea. Take a left up here.” He pointed to the next intersection. It was a winding road that led off into nowhere. Harry glanced at Louis out of the corner of his eye and raised an eyebrow. “Trust me, okay?” Louis asked. Harry simply nodded and took the turn. 

The road wound onward. Trees dotted the landscape sporadically. The sky was a bright azure blue and the sun beat down warmly. Louis rolled the windows down to enjoy the breeze. As the car rolled past the fields on either side, Louis looked over at the curly-haired boy next to him. Harry was smiling as he tried to take in the view around him without losing his concentration on the road. Louis felt his troubles melt away. “It’s beautiful out here, Lou. I’ve never been out this way.”

“It’s a great view,” Louis said, his gaze fixed on Harry. A smile played on his lips. His eyes moved back to the road. “Slow down a bit, Haz. Pull into this lot,” Louis said as he directed him to a gravel drive on their right.

Harry followed his directions and parked the car in the lot. They were completely and totally alone. Louis opened his door and motioned for Harry to follow him. The gravel crunched under their feet as Harry followed Louis to the edge of the gravel and down a short path punctuated by a row of dense, perfectly placed trees. When they broke through the last of the trees, Harry let out a gasp. Before them was an endless meadow, rolling out over the hills as far as they could see before meeting the clear blue sky. Above it all, the sun glimmered brightly, smiling down on the beautiful scene. 

“Do you like it?” Louis asked.

Harry’s expression was one of wonder. “It’s gorgeous,” he breathed. “How did you know about this?” He turned to Louis, lips red and eyes as green as the meadows around them. The hills that had once seemed so majestic were nothing compared to the boy standing beside him. Louis struggled to find words. “I just started driving one day and I kind of stumbled onto it. I come up here when I need to think sometimes.”

“What do you think about when you come up here?” Harry inquired as he looked off into the distance.

Louis felt Harry’s arm brush against his, surely an accident. You, Louis wanted to tell him. I think about how in love with you I am and I wonder what I’m ever going to do about it. Instead, all he said was “I think about the future, the choices I have to make. It helps me strip away the noise of the world around me and reminds me of what's really important. ”

Harry nodded in understanding, looking at Louis with a strange expression on his face. “It seems like the perfect place to go with someone special, like a little slice of paradise, but close to home.” Harry was looking right into Louis’ eyes, and Louis couldn’t understand why. He turned away. Why would Harry look at him that way, say things like that to him? Was it possible that…? No. It was just a figment of his imagination. He turned back to Harry, but Harry wasn’t looking at him anymore. He wore a somber look on his face instead. The moment had passed, and Louis felt like he had missed something—he just couldn’t imagine what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the big secret: in the original draft, Louis gets caught eavesdropping and they're forced to figure it out sooner. No happy flashback, no time to ponder and reflect on why this is such a big deal or what their relationship is like. I decided I wanted this to be a bit deeper, so I'm happy with the changes I made. Let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> The next chapter will be the big "action" chapter, where everything comes together. I might also do an epilogue, but that depends on what you guys think. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. I'll try to get the next part of this up this weekend. :)


	3. Words I Couldn't Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Louis thinks his torture can't get much worse, Harry drops a bomb on him.This is only PART of this chapter. I have been suffering from a severe case of writer's block with this fic, and I'm not sure why. I've been writing and rewriting so much. I already know what the last chapter will be like, but I'm just not happy with this chapter at all. I wanted to commit to some portion of it, so I didn't keep everyone waiting forever, so I'm posting a snippet. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is at long last! It took me long enough, but the chapter is done. It's perfectly sappy, so enjoy!

“Louis, I know you can hear me,” Harry said, pulling him out of the memory. Harry’s voice was deep and warm, wrapping around Louis like velvet. Louis wished he could listen to it forever. He tilted his head back to see Harry smiling down at him, a little less pale than earlier and just as beautiful to him now as he was all those years ago. And, if possible, he meant even more to Louis than he had back then. 

Recalling that memory, Louis felt like a fool. Though he hadn’t realized what a romantic setting it was, Harry had. And in that moment, Harry had seemed to want the same thing Louis wanted. Louis had never been a shy person, but Harry was so precious to him that he measured his every word and every move when the boy was around, lest he scare him away. Maybe if he hadn’t been so terrified, so blind, he could have had the kiss he’d been longing for with Harry years ago. He wondered what would have happened if he had thrown caution to the wind and held Harry’s hand, or better yet, leaned in close and whispered all of the words he thought he’d never say aloud before pressing his lips to Harry’s. Who knows where they would be now if he had just been a bit braver when he had the shot. So Harry had wanted him then, but did he still? Or was there someone else?

“Earth to Louis,” Harry said, waving his big hands in front of Louis’ face. “Come on, wake up,” he said more gently.

“Boo!” Louis yelled, jolting upright. Harry nearly fell over before bursting into a fit of laughter. Even if he’d probably given his best friend a heart attack when he already felt like shit, it was worth it to hear Harry’s laugh. “You’re an ass,” Harry said, lips quirking as he tried not to smirk. “Just thought you should know.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I thought you loved that about me,” Louis quipped. He tapped his chin and gazed off thoughtfully. “Or was it just that you love my ass? I can’t remember.”

Louis thought he saw Harry wince at the comment. “I actually came in here because I didn’t want you to have to sleep on the couch. It’s not fair for you to give up your bed because I was too sick to make it home to my own.”

“It’s not a problem, Haz,” Louis said, waving his hand nonchalantly. “You don’t have to give up the bed for me. Consider it your get well gift—except I need it back when you leave tomorrow,” he told Harry with a mischievous grin.

Harry bit his lip as he tried not to laugh. “I didn’t mean it that way…actually,” he said in his signature slow drawl. His eyes flicked down toward the floor. 

“Oh? Then how did you mean it?” Surely he wasn’t asking Louis to share the bed with him. 

Harry’s red lips parted as he struggled to choose the right words. “I meant that…we could like, um…share it? The bed, I mean.” He looked at Louis nervously, and Louis’ heart beat wildly in return. They’d never done anything like that before. Louis was always very careful to avoid situations that would expose his feelings for Harry. Sleeping in a bed with him was at the top of that list for obvious reasons, like the awkward state of arousal he would probably end up in. That would be the last way he’d ever want Harry to find out. His face burned at the very thought.

“Um…well…” Louis didn’t know how to turn down Harry's offer. He knew better than to subject himself to that kind of torture. And yet…he simply couldn’t resist the puppy dog look in Harry’s eyes as he awaited Louis’ answer.

Harry’s hopeful look began to fall. “It’s okay if—”

“Yes,” Louis said quickly, scrambling up from the couch. Harry’s eyes widened for a moment before he managed to pull a neutral expression. “I mean, you’re right. The bed is definitely big enough for two people. Besides, this couch makes a shitty mattress,” Louis added, kicking at one of the couch’s legs. He swore as he stubbed his toe on the wood.

Harry chuckled softly for a moment before his anxious look returned. “I’m going to get some more water, maybe have a few crackers to settle my stomach,” he mumbled as he disappeared into the kitchen. “Meet you in a few.”

Louis just raised his eyebrow and didn’t answer. He quickly made his way to his room hoping to change before Harry came in. He had just finished pulling on some pajamas when Harry stepped through the doorway and brushed past him like a ghost on his way to the bed. The taller boy swung his long legs under the covers and settled back against the pillows. “You coming, Lou?” he asked quietly.

Louis nodded and slowly made his way toward his bed. Harry made a show of looking anywhere but at him, and Louis couldn’t understand why. After all, he was the one who had asked for this. Louis climbed into the bed, careful to keep to his own side. Harry glanced at him quickly as Louis laid back, still looking distressed. 

That was when Louis gave in; he couldn’t even pretend to sleep if Harry was going to act like this all night. “You feeling okay, Haz?” Louis leaned over to assess Harry’s physical well-being. Harry’s skin was growing pale again. He reached over to feel Harry’s forehead. As soon as Louis’ hand made contact, Harry’s breath caught and he immediately froze. “I’m fine. Just tired,” Harry forced out stiffly. 

Louis drew his hand back slowly. “Are you sure? If you need something, I can get it for you.” He was baiting Harry, trying to see if he was really sick or if his nerves had more to do with their sleeping arrangement. Because if Harry was nervous about them sharing a bed, then…Louis couldn’t afford to think like that right now or his mind would explode. “You look so uncomfortable, but you don’t feel like you have a fever. Do you think you’re going to be sick again?” 

Harry shook his head. “I…I’m fine. Let’s just go to sleep,” he said. Louis scrutinized Harry’s behavior, recalling the signs he’d missed in the past. He studied Harry and tried to read his body language as if every little part were meaningful. He noted Harry’s quick glances at him, his hand fiddling with the edge of the blanket, his restless movements as he tried to choose a comfortable position to sleep in. He would turn to face Louis, then turn back around and seem unhappy with that as well. Harry clearly had a ton of adrenaline coursing through him, imprisoning him in a state of perpetual restlessness. As he watched Harry tossing and turning, Louis knew in that moment that he felt the same way, even if for a different reason. Neither of them was going to sleep a wink tonight.

Louis was just about to roll over when Harry spoke to him in a low voice. “Louis…there’s something…I wanted to…talk to you about…” The words were slow, as if each one cost the green-eyed boy something he could never get back.

Louis stiffened. This was it. Or maybe it wasn’t. He just didn’t fucking know anymore. “This late? Is it something important?” 

“Yes, um, it’s about…” Harry bit his lip hard, turning it a bright red that made Louis ball his fists in the sheets to avoid pouncing on him. 

“You can tell me anything, Haz, okay? You’re my best friend. That’s not going to change, no matter what you do,” he told Harry in a soothing tone. “Even if you kill someone, I’ll help you hide the body,” Louis added with a wink.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Lou. Thanks,” Harry said as he rolled his eyes. Louis smiled, knowing he’d eased the tension a bit. When Harry spoke, his tone was serious again. “I just…Have you ever wanted something so badly, but at the same time you hoped it would never happen because it might ruin everything? And then you’re not sure what to do because the thought of never having it was its own kind of torture?”

Louis suppressed a laugh at the irony of the situation. “Yeah, I really do, trust me. It’s a horrible way to live.” He shook his head, the torment of his love for Harry rattling around inside. Looking at the boy lying next to him and remembering his words earlier tonight, Louis wondered for a moment if Harry felt the same as him. _I don’t know what I’d do without him every day._ “But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m always here for you, Harry,” Louis said. He resisted the urge to reach out to touch Harry. “What can I do to make it easier?” 

Harry’s brow was creased with worry. The boy lying next to him seemed so unlike the cheerful, loving Harry he knew that it made Louis’ chest ache. He longed to wrap his arms around the curly-haired boy and pull him close. Even just for a moment. “Haz?” he said softly. “Please tell me what’s bothering you. I want to help make it better.”

Harry was watching him carefully, eyes sweeping over Louis’ entire face like he was trying to commit it to memory, like this would be his last chance to see it. “I don’t want to lose…anything important to me,” Harry said carefully. “But if I don’t try…I’ll go out of my mind wondering what could have been, what my life would have been like if…if I wasn’t so damn afraid.” Harry’s eyes were glassy, like he was on the brink of tears. Louis imagined reaching out and stroking Harry’s face, painting over the unhappiness there with the love that flowed from his fingertips when Harry was around. He almost missed what Harry said next. “Lou, what would you do if you were me?”

Louis swallowed, hoping the advice he was about to give wasn’t too selfish. “Well, Haz, it’s kind of hard to give advice when you don’t have all the info,” he joked, “but…I guess if you want something enough that just the thought of not having it makes you feel this bad, then I think you owe it to yourself to try. If it doesn’t work out, then I know you’ll be okay. But if you don’t go for it, then you’re going to feel like this for the rest of your life,” he told Harry. “There’s nothing you could be risking that’s worth going through what you’re doing to yourself right now for a lifetime. Think about it. People who work for the stock market do risky stuff every other minute, and they seem to be doing pretty well for themselves,” he said with a shrug. That earned a soft chuckle from Harry. Louis was trying to play it cool and sound clueless, but inside, his mind and heart were in a race. 

Harry was looking down at the bed between them thoughtfully. “I suppose you might be right. But that’s part of the problem. I already have everything I need. It’s just that…I want it to be more, better.” He was silent for a moment. “Maybe I’m just being selfish,” he said quietly. “Maybe it’s not meant to be anything more than it already is and I’m just being greedy. I—I can’t live like this,” Harry said. His eyes were starting to brim with tears. “If I mess this up, nothing will ever be okay again. I just—” He choked over his words and covered his face. 

“Harry,” Louis said softly, reaching up to touch his cheek. He gently angled Harry’s head to look at him. And Louis saw that a single tear had escaped Harry’s eye and was travelling down his face. Louis brushed it away and he swore that Harry had stopped breathing for a second. “Harry,” he said again. “What if I told you that everything would be okay, that you wouldn’t lose anything? Would you trust me?” He had taken ahold of Harry’s other hand and pulled it to his chest, resting their clasped hands over his heart. This was it. This was his chance. He had heard and seen so much tonight that he hadn’t before, and if Harry couldn’t say it, Louis would say it for both of them. He had to, or he would burst from the overwhelming feeling building in his chest.

“What are you saying, Lou?”

“I’m answering the question we’re both too fucking stubborn to ask.”

Harry’s eyes widened with worry. “Are you sure we’re asking the same thing?”

Louis looked at Harry for a moment, taking in the way his curls framed his face so delicately, the blush of his cheeks, the vivid green of his eyes. This was the man he wanted to fall asleep next to every night for the rest of his life, and Harry was actually admitting that he felt the same, after all these years. Louis’ heart swelled. He’d been waiting for this moment for so long. He never would have guessed he’d have no time to prepare. 

Louis nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure of it.” He focused his gaze on Harry’s green eyes, using them as a beacon to guide him. “Harry, I’ve waited so long to tell you. I never thought I’d get the chance, but…I—I—God, this is so hard.” He looked at Harry, who was watching him keenly now. Harry squeezed the hand that was held to Louis’ chest. Louis didn’t know where to start, but he could feel the time ticking by. He had to find the right words before he lost his shot again. “Harry, you’re my best friend, and you’ve been a part of my life for so long that I can't remember what it was like before you. When I need someone, you’re there. When I have good news, you’re the first person I call. Even on my worst days, you somehow turn my mood around just by being there. You don’t even have to try. I just…” he was rambling now. And Harry was just lying there, watching him with a guarded, but fond, expression on his face. 

Louis drew a breath to continue. “I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that you mean so much to me, Harry. You’re the most important person in my life. I’ll follow you anywhere, do anything you want. And as much as I’ve tried…I can’t—I can’t feel that with anyone else. And I don't want to.” Louis' eyes were watering now. He turned his head so Harry wouldn’t see, but he could probably hear it in the way Louis’ voice broke a little. “And I always hoped you couldn’t see it. I hoped you’d never find out because I didn’t know what you’d say if you did. I didn’t even know if you’d still be friends with me.” He sniffled a little, unable to stop himself. 

“Lou,” Harry whispered. Louis wouldn’t look at him. He couldn’t. Harry didn’t say any more, but Louis felt the brush of Harry’s hand on his arm, stroking his skin softly.

Louis couldn’t take the silence, feeling the words building up in his head as he scrambled to put them in order. “I heard you. I heard you on the phone with your mom tonight.” He looked up quickly, hoping to see a clue in Harry’s expression that he understood. Harry’s eyes were widened in surprise. “I wasn’t sure what you were talking about, but then you started saying my name. I didn’t know what to think, but then I heard you coming so I ran,” Louis confessed.

Harry looked like he was weighing words in his head, unsure of whether he should speak or let Louis continue. In that moment, Louis knew that he wanted to be the one to say it. He had been holding his feelings back for so long that now that he was slowly letting them go, they battered against the dam in his mind. He had nothing left but to open the gate. “Harry, there’s something I need to tell you.” He looked up at Harry and their eyes met like magnets. He squeezed Harry’s hand. It had to be now, because it couldn’t be never. “Harry, I’m in love with you. I love you so much that it hurts. And I don’t care anymore if you feel the same or not. I just need you to know that you’re everything to me. And if you never wanted to see me again, I still wouldn’t change a thing. We’ve grown together and made so many beautiful memories. You’re a part of my life that can never be replaced. You’re so much a part of me that…when you’re not here, I feel like half of me is missing. And when you are here, the world could fall apart all around us, and I wouldn’t even notice or care. Because as long as I have you, nothing else matters.” Louis tried to say more, but the feel of Harry’s arm circling his waist and pulling him close interrupted his train of thought. 

“Louis,” Harry said, “you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you’re the one thing I’d never be willing to give up. I don’t know how or when it happened, but…” Harry took a deep breath before huffing it out, “I fell in love with you, too. Pretty hard. I was so worried that you’d never feel the same. It was so hard to hide that sometimes I didn’t even try to. I thought maybe you would see and either say you felt something too, or let me down easy. But you never seemed to notice. It’s been tearing me apart to keep something so important a secret from you, but I thought I was doing the only thing that would keep you close. Because if I’m being honest, there’s nothing and no one I’d rather have. I don’t even want to remember the time before I knew you, because my heart had never truly beat until the first day I saw you smile at me.” Harry looked Louis right in the eye and took both of Louis’ hands in his. “Now my heart only beats when you’re around. So I’m afraid I have no choice but to keep you near me. Forever.”

If Louis hadn’t been lying down already, he would have fainted. Harry, his best friend and the only person he’d ever really wanted, was confessing his love for him. And it was overwhelming and exciting and everything he’d never thought would happen to him. His dream come true was just a hair’s breadth away; all he had to do was reach out and grasp it. “How close?” Louis asked, after what seemed like an eon of silence.

“What do you mean, Lou?”

“How close do you need me to be to keep your heart beating?” Louis’ heart was hammering in his chest. He allowed himself a moment to get lost in the green eyes he’d loved for so long. Harry leaned in so that their faces were almost touching. His lips twitched into a sultry smirk. “Hmm. Let's try this close,” Harry whispered. And then their lips connected in a slow passion.

This was it: the kiss Louis had waited nearly half his life for. And it was everything he’d dreamed of. Harry’s lips were soft and warm, moving carefully against his. Harry’s hand reached up to stroke Louis’ cheek softly. Louis moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Harry, relishing the feel of the man he loved in his arms. Louis broke the kiss for a moment to whisper against Harry’s lips. “Is this close enough?”

“I’m afraid not,” Harry replied with a smirk. 

“Then show me,” Louis dared, leaning his forehead against Harry’s. 

Harry pressed himself closer, so close that Louis swore there wasn’t an inch of their bodies not touching. Louis kissed him slowly and deeply, savoring the feel of Harry after waiting so long. “Harry,” he said, the name rolling off his tongue as easy as breathing. Louis’ heart was full to bursting and he hoped it would never let up. 

Harry pulled back for a moment, looking sheepish. “Lou, as much as I would love to continue…I really have been sick all night. And it's almost three in the morning.”

Louis felt his forehead wrinkle in confusion. “You want to stop?” He had just tasted Harry’s lips for the first time after waiting a damn decade, and now Harry was expecting thirty seconds to be enough. Un-fucking-believable. 

Harry shook his head and smiled weakly. “Not really. But I also don’t want to be thinking about how nauseous I feel while I’m finally kissing the guy I like.” 

The guy I like. Louis’ heart leapt at the words. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a good memory or a good first make out session.” Louis laughed. “But then what do you want?” Louis asked, his hope faltering.

Harry thought for a moment. “Maybe we could cuddle? I could use the rest, and I’m sure you could as well.”

Louis nodded his assent. It really was getting late. "Come here, Haz."

"I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” Harry rolled over so his back was facing Louis, then adjusted so that Louis was spooning him, their bodies melding together like they were made to fit into each other. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry tightly, like he was afraid Harry would disappear otherwise. He pressed a kiss to Harry’s neck. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, Lou.” Harry let out a sigh of contentment and snuggled into Louis. Louis buried his face in Harry's mess of curls and breathed him in. Louis wasn’t sure what kind of dream he was living, but he never wanted to wake up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am planning an epilogue, so stay tuned!


	4. I'm Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for! This one starts off with a flashback. Then Louis wakes up the next morning and finds Harry gone...or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed a few things about the previous chapters to make them flow a little better and develop Louis' feelings for Harry a bit more. If you don't feel like rereading, I assure you that you won't be lost.
> 
> I apologize for the lack of smut, but I kind of felt like it would detract from the ending I wanted. Either way, happy reading! :)

Louis was spending lunch in the school bathroom. His eyes were red from crying and his face was stained with tears as he sat in the drab blue stall. He couldn’t let anyone see him like this, not at his new school. But the truth was that he had nowhere else to go where he could let out all the frustration he felt. He had to be strong for his sisters and his mom. This was the second man who was leaving them all behind while his mother struggled to pick up the pieces of their shattered life.

A new wave of sobs overtook him along with the fear that his life would never be stable again. A new house, a new school, having to make new friends. How long until this time didn’t matter either? Until he had to do it all over yet again? He was just starting to calm his breathing again, knowing he’d have to clean up his appearance before his next class in a few minutes, when he heard the door swing open.

Louis buried his head in his hands. Now he’d have to wait until this boy left before he could come out to assess the damage. He tried to hold back his sniffles, but his nose was still running and he couldn’t breathe through it. He could still see the boy’s feet outside the stall. Louis prayed the boy would leave so he could have just another minute or two in peace. He cast a quick glance at his watch. Lunch would be over in two minutes and then people would start coming into the bathroom before going to their next class. His alone time was over. 

Louis reached for the roll of toilet paper and blew his nose loudly. He dabbed at his eyes, hoping the tear tracks were dry enough not to be noticeable. He slowly unlocked the stall door and stepped out, aiming his eyes at the floor on his way to the sink. When he caught sight of his reflection, Louis sighed. His eyes looked bloodshot and puffy, and his face was flushed. 

Louis glanced in the mirror to see where the other boy was standing and found a pair of green eyes staring back at his reddened face. _Shit_ , he thought, averting his gaze. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He was just about to dart for the door when the other boy spoke up. “Hey, um, are you okay? I mean, obviously you’re probably not if you’re hiding in here, but…” he trailed off awkwardly. 

Louis chanced a look up at the other boy and his defenses softened immediately. The face looking back at him was full of concern and framed in a short mess of curls. The boy seemed a bit younger than him as well, though not by too much. Louis tried to say something, but he was saved from the awkward pause by the sound of the bell that signaled lunch was ending. The curly-haired boy’s eyes flashed to the door as sounds of chatter began to fill the hallway. He reached an arm out and turned the lock, trapping Louis in the bathroom with him. When his eyes slid back to Louis again, he smiled. “So nobody walks in until you’re ready.”

Louis nodded, feeling numb. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “You didn’t have to lock yourself in here with me, though.”

The boy shrugged. “I figured you could use someone to talk to. If you want to, I mean.” He took a step forward and held his hand out for Louis to shake. “I’m Harry, by the way.” 

Just as Louis was about to politely tell this boy there was no chance in hell he was spilling all his problems to some stranger in the school bathroom, he stopped himself. It had been so long since he’d let himself express his feelings. He was so afraid that seeing him cry would upset his little sisters and add another worry to his mother’s overfilled plate. All of his friends were in another town, forgetting all about him. Louis had no one to talk to. Yet, here was this boy who had no reason to care about Louis’ wellbeing welcoming the trouble of Louis’ problems and tears with open arms.

Louis found himself holding out his hand slowly. “I’m Louis.” 

Harry’s hand enveloped Louis’ in warmth. “Nice to meet you, Louis.” Harry smiled, waves of calmness emanating from him. With Harry there, Louis suddenly felt safe for the first time in what seemed like forever. “Well,” Harry said, “I know the lunch offerings aren’t that great, but they’re not bad enough to cry over. I’m guessing it’s something else that has you upset?”

Louis gave half a chuckle. “I didn’t even go in the cafeteria, so I’ll take your word for it.” He fell silent for a moment, still reluctant to finally open up. Harry just sat there watching Louis like his every word was more important than anything else he could be doing. That gave Louis the courage to keep talking. “It’s just…my mom’s getting divorced, and now everything is changing. We had to leave our house and change schools, and all my friends are gone. I feel like my whole life was ruined,” Louis said in frustration. Tears threatened to spill again, but this time he didn’t feel the need to hide them.

Harry nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I remember how that feels. My parents got divorced a few years ago and I had to start over here. It’s hard at first, but it gets better after a while. Besides, you’ve already made one friend on your first day.” When Louis looked up at Harry’s dimpled smile, he knew Harry’s words were true. From there, the words just tumbled out while the green-eyed boy caught them all, along with every piece of Louis’ broken heart. 

When the next bell rang a few minutes later, Louis swore. The noise in the hallway receded and Louis felt a strange charge to the air. As much as he’d rather stay with the boy who made him feel safe, being tardy wasn’t going to make his life any easier. “I’ve made us both late,” he groaned. “I’m so sorry. You should get to class.” Louis grabbed up his books from the counter slowly, wondering how he was going to get through the rest of the day. 

When he turned to head out, Harry was watching him with an expression he couldn’t read. Harry shook his head subtly. “I think I’m right where I need to be.”

“And when your teachers ask where you were?” Louis asked, his eyebrows raised.

Harry shrugged. “I had an emergency. If that’s not enough, then they can hear all the gritty details of the food poisoning I got from their cafeteria.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Louis giggled. 

“You know, if you’re hungry, I know where the vending machines are. I can get you something to eat since you didn’t go to lunch.” Harry smiled at him.

Louis smiled back. “That sounds good, actually.” 

As they hid in the janitor’s closet eating snacks, Louis watched Harry prance around and make awful jokes in an effort to cheer him up. Louis cracked his first genuine smile since the divorce.  
“Harold,” Louis choked out between gasps of laughter. “I think we’re going to be friends for a very long time.”

“I hope so,” Harry whispered. Blue and green eyes met, and in a blink, that endless chasm that separates stranger from friend had vanished. Their lives fractured, as all lives do in moments of fundamental change, becoming “before” and “after.” There was something about it that felt to Louis just like coming home.

***

When Louis opened his eyes, Harry was gone. His heart leapt in panic. Had Harry changed his mind about him? Maybe he’d been delirious from his illness and hadn’t meant any of the things he’d said last night. Louis hung his head, ready to cry. He couldn’t believe that he’d fallen asleep last night with Harry in his arms and hope in his heart only to wake up to an empty bed. 

The tears began streaming down his face. He buried his face in the pillow to muffle the sound of his crying. 

“Louis?” 

Louis’ head snapped up instinctively, but he turned it away at the last moment so his tears weren’t on display. He heard a few scuffling sounds as things were being moved around behind him. Louis wiped the wetness off his face furiously.

Then the bed dipped behind him and a warm body pressed against his back. “Lou? What’s wrong?” Harry lifted his head to peek around at Louis’ face.

Louis didn’t have time to hide his tear-stained face. He winced in embarrassment as Harry’s eyes widened in distress. “I—um, I just….I thought you had left. I was…upset.”

Harry’s expression shifted from shock to outrage to sadness. “You really thought I’d leave you just like that? After everything we said last night?”

Louis shook his head. Now that he thought about it, it seemed so unlike Harry to leave after a moment like they’d had last night. “I feel kind of stupid for thinking that. I guess it was just fear or something.”

Harry’s thumb brushed across Louis’ cheek, tracing the paths his tears had left on his face. “You never have to worry about that, Lou. I’m always going to be here for you,” Harry murmured into Louis’ shoulder. 

The feel of Harry’s lips on his skin gave Louis goosebumps. “Where were you, Haz? I thought we’d get to wake up together.”

Harry shifted on the bed behind him, twisting around and reaching for something. When Louis turned his head to see what Harry was doing, Harry’s long fingers were stuffing something into his mouth. Louis was just about to yell at him until his mouth exploded with the salty, juicy crunch of bacon. Louis groaned and closed his eyes as he chewed.

“There’s more where that came from,” Harry said with a wink. “A full breakfast to be precise.” He preened at Louis’ enthusiasm as the older boy scrambled to sit up.

Louis finally finished swallowing. “Are you going for boyfriend of the year on the first day?”

“Just trying to make it up to you for being sick last night.” Harry frowned slightly and Louis could read the guilt on his face.

Louis leaned in to press a reassuring kiss to Harry’s cheek. “I don’t begrudge you your sleep or your recovery. But really, that’s what you get for ditching me and taking some girl out instead,” he teased.

Harry groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. “I knew you were going to guilt me like that. That’s also what the breakfast is for, then.”

“Hmm, you think you can squeeze two huge apologies into one breakfast? That’d better be the best meal of my life, Harry.” Louis shot Harry a challenging look. 

“I can make dinner, too,” Harry offered eagerly.

Louis chuckled. “Well I would never turn down that offer. But there’s something else I’d like more.” Louis reached his hand up to push Harry’s curls back from his face, running his fingers delicately along the curves of Harry’s cheekbones. “So beautiful,” he whispered. 

Louis’ hands continued their exploration while Harry just watched him fondly, leaning into the touch. When Louis’ fingertips trailed along his lips, Harry kissed them. Harry’s eyes were closed, enjoying the sensation. Louis couldn’t resist dipping a finger into his mouth. To his surprise, Harry accepted it greedily, sucking lightly. Louis added another and Harry gave a moan. “Careful, Haz,” he warned. “You’re opening up Pandora’s box right there.” Louis withdrew his fingers, not sure if he could handle watching Harry’s mouth stretch around them much longer.

A blush crept up Harry’s cheeks. “Maybe…I’m okay with that.”

Louis tilted his head. He knew everything about Harry, and that meant knowing all about Harry’s love life as well. So he knew that Harry had only been with a couple of people intimately and never for very long. He remembered the way Harry had avoided his eyes when he told him about his drunken kiss with a guy the night that Louis had been working too late to go out. Louis knew Harry was interested in men as well, but that story had cut much deeper than that of any tryst Harry had with a woman. To the best of Louis’ knowledge, that kiss was the furthest Harry had gone with a man, and he’d always wondered why. Now he saw that moment for what it really was: a confession. Louis wondered what else he’d misread about Harry’s love life.

Harry cleared his throat as if he could read Louis’ thoughts. “It—it wasn’t all…true.”

Louis had been staring off, lost in thought, but now his head snapped up to look at Harry. “What do you mean?”

Harry was concentrating on picking at a loose thread in the blanket. “Um, like the stories I told you.” Louis waited a beat for Harry to elaborate. He didn’t want to assume anything right now. Harry’s face turned red as he continued. “The things I used to tell you about…you know. I only said it to see your reaction. I didn’t kiss that guy. He tried and I turned him down. And the girls,” he said, looking over to gauge Louis’ expression. “We didn’t do much more than kissing. That’s why they didn’t last long.”

Louis did his best to hide his shock. His mind was having a hard time processing the implications of what Harry was saying. “Wait, so then…you’ve never kissed a guy? Or been with anybody?” He, for one, couldn’t understand why people weren’t lining up along the street to get a chance with Harry. It was their loss.

Harry looked up at him shyly. “No, um, I just—I couldn’t even look at a guy without wishing he was you. With the girls, it wasn’t as hard, but when it came down to it, they weren’t who I wanted to share that with. So I went as far as I could before I had to turn them down. It wouldn’t have been fair to them or to me.” He shrugged, like his words were insignificant, but Louis knew they were anything but.

“But you didn’t even know if I was interested. You were just going to live like a priest forever?” Louis shook his head incredulously. His heart broke at the thought of Harry trying and failing to find intimacy with someone else because he was so hung up on Louis. He wished he could go back in time, pull that broken Harry into his arms, and kiss away his worries.

Harry frowned at him. “Probably not _forever_ , but I was willing to wait for quite a while. It’s not easy to wait for someone, but I couldn’t let go of my hope that someday I might get to love you like I couldn’t love them.”

Louis moved in closer, his eyes never leaving Harry’s. Their faces were close now. “You don’t have to wait for me anymore, Harry.” He reached for Harry’s hand and Harry smiled when their fingers twined together. “I’m all yours, starting right now.”

Harry smiled as Louis closed the space between them and connected their lips. The kiss was slow and sweet and unlike anything Louis had felt before. He pushed back against Harry gently until he got the message and allowed Louis to lay him down. Harry’s curls spread across the pillow like rays from the sun as Louis looked down at him. He didn’t think his heart could love anyone more than he loved Harry right now. 

When he moved in to kiss Harry again, Harry mumbled something against his lips. “Shouldn’t we eat breakfast, Lou? It’s getting cold.”

Louis pulled back and looked down at the man beneath him. Blue eyes met green and time stood still, just like it had so many years ago. And as they looked into each other’s eyes, they knew that everything before this moment had been leading them here. It was home. 

Louis smiled down at his Harry and tightened his arms around him. “I think I’m right where I need to be.” Harry kissed him. And as Louis finally made love to the man he’d always wanted, he knew he’d never felt anything so true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you loved it as much as I do. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I literally cannot find the note below this to delete it. It was from the first chapter and now it won't go away...but, yeah, this is the final chapter, so disregard.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at Larry fic, so I hope everyone likes it. I have this planned to be just a few short chapters. The next one is almost ready to go. Thanks for reading! :)


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